I am so fucking sick of everything. Absolutely fucking everything ( Read more... )

I'm at school right now, with seven minutes until I go home.

I just... needed to post.

Some shit went down with... her today. And right now I hate myself more than I thought I could.

Apparently, I fuck everything up regardless. And then I give up.

But the worst part? She doesn't think I'm ready.

Christ.

If I wasn't ready, if I wasn't prepared to dive in ( Read more... )

So.

Today sucked. A lot.

I don't know why I went to talk to her, but I did. I needed... closure or something.

Instead, it just... hurt more afterwards.

Some of the things she said... they weren't meant to hurt me, but they did. And I fucking hate myself now for not telling her before I did. Because I timed it all wrong. If I'd told her a week before ( Read more... )

So yeah.

I'm... not good. At all.

As in, on-the-edge not good.

Shay's abandoned me, effectively. And with everything else going on, I didn't need that.

So yeah.

I had my i need you playlist on all day today. I think that shows.

And I wrote three drabbles in an hour. Which never happens unless something is wrong.

And something is definitely wrong.

So.

I'm ( Read more... )

Today... today, something cracked inside me.

I don't know what, I don't know how, I don't know when.

But I know I am so close. Dancing on the edge of a metaphorical razor, so to speak. I'm so close to going back to my old ways, and I'm not sure if that's good or bad.

School is getting too much. I can't handle the workload, the pressure, or their new ( Read more... )

I need to get away.

I can't deal with the shit going on right now.

Rewind back to week before last.

Sitting in class, about to start an English lesson. The teacher asks me for an idea or two on a task.

"Seven deadly sins."

Josh butts in. "It's fucking Christmas, not Let's-Go-Cut-Ourselves-Because-We're-Emo-mas."

I give a different suggestion of prompt ( Read more... )